10 Awesome Alcoholics
Friday, April 13th, 2007
I couldn’t pay tribute to potheads and leave the alcoholics out. Personally I am more of an alcoholic anyway.
So just in time for Friday night here are 10 awesome alcoholics I wish I was going to be drinking with tonight and why…
Doc Holiday
Tombstone
Bar tricks always attract the women.
Bob & Doug McKenzie
Strange Brew
A buddy of mine and I used to do what we’d call the “Secret Beer”. We would sneak off and shotgun a beer without telling anybody so we could get more beer faster than everyone else. Hey, what can I say…that was back when every beer you got in you counted. Oh hell, it’s still like that isn’t it?
Wong Fei Hung
Drunken Master
When I get all drunk and start mouthing off to everybody around, who better to have in my corner?
Willie Soak
Bad Santa
It’s always nice to have somebody drunker than you around. That way nobody’s talking about what YOU did.
Everybody
Beerfest
This movie did for me what Half-Baked did for pot. These guys are my heroes.
Withnail
Withnail and I
I’ll be honest, I’ve never seen this movie. I ran across it as I was looking around for some of these other clips and watched a bunch of scenes. I will be watching it tonight for sure so it will be like I am drinking with them after all.
Homer Simpson
The Simpsons
One of my drinking partners is so fond of Jagermeister I have dubbed him “Darth Jager”. This is what the world starts to look like to me after a few Jager shots anyway.
Otis Campbell
The Andy Griffith Show
Sure, we’d end up in jail, but we’d also be able to walk away scott free the next morning
Bluto Blutarski
Animal House
He died in a bottle to save me from my soberness.
Norm Peterson
Cheers
He may be the only guy I’ve ever seen who loves beer as much as I do. Not alcohol, but beer specifically. Plus, I don’t think he ever paid for a single one. Surely that has to trickle down to his homies. My favorite line from this clip….
“Beer Norm?”
“Yeah, I am gonna need something to kill time before my second beer…”
Make sure that budding gangsta in the family gets a healthy start to his day...
How do you make Human Tetris even better? The same way you make everything better, of course. 
Hockey is like NASCAR to me. The only thing good about car racing are the wrecks and the only thing interesting to me about hockey are 
Whatever happened to the good ole' days when a harmless wife-spanking was not only NOT frowned upon but also used to sell coffee? 
April 13th, 2007 at 10:10 am
[…] These guys knew how to party. [link] […]
April 13th, 2007 at 10:34 am
beerfest was the worst movie i’ve ever seen.
April 13th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Have you ever seen the stars man? Have you ever seen them on BEER?!?
April 13th, 2007 at 10:50 am
Ever? Even worse than Jury Duty with Pauly Shore? Worse than Catwoman?
You must have been sober.
April 13th, 2007 at 10:53 am
WTF? How can anyone make a list of the best alcoholics and not include Dudley Moore’s Arthur - THE BEST DRUNK EVER BY FAR.
April 13th, 2007 at 11:43 am
[…] A selection of “ten awesome drunks I wish I could drink with tonight,” albeit fictional ones. [CottonAndSand] […]
April 13th, 2007 at 11:50 am
DUD-LEY MOORE! DUD-LEY MOORE! DUD-LEY MOORE!
April 13th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
the fact that you know ABOUT ‘withnail and i’ is even cooler than putting these two lighter-fluid swilling tossers on your top 10! CAPITAL!
April 13th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Wow, pretty damn weak list. Arthur should have been, I mean seriously, a character from a 1950’s TV show? Was this list written by Andy Rooney? Also, for Doc Holliday, you should have used the “Spelling Contest” part, helluva lot funnier.
April 13th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Wow, pretty damn weak list. Arthur should have been on there in place of the drunk from The Andy Griffith Show, I mean seriously, a character from a 1950’s TV show? Was this list written by Andy Rooney? Also, for Doc Holliday, you should have used the “Spelling Contest” part, helluva lot funnier.
Sorry, last comment got all messed up for some reason. Maybe I was drunk…
April 13th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Where is Mr Lahey? Trailer Park Boys? Puts all these to shame
Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_ArJkPFTnQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtQBpQSZFEU
April 13th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
AS long as you are including drunks from old TV shows, how about Lee Marvin in Cat Balou (western movie w/Jane Fonda)? He won an oscar for that role…
April 13th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Not a bad first try. Authur is a great drunk. Barney Gumble is more of an alcoholic than Homer but Homer is more well known so it’s a toss up. Tommy Gavin from Rescue Me is pretty good when he’s off the wagon. And Jimmy Dugan from A League of Their Own is great before he sobers up. Then there is William Munny in the Unforgiven. Sure he only drinks at the end but he makes up for it. And what about Frank the Tank from Old School.
April 13th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Your forgot Cousin Eddie from the Vacation’s series, I don’t think he was ever sober…
April 13th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
I have to agree with Doug, Beerfest was a BAD(yep, its so bad I gave it all caps) movie. I’m an alcoholic and pot head so it was really a let down for me.
April 13th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
What about Shooter from Hoosiers? Nothing beats an inspirational drunk.
April 13th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
How about Nick Cage in leaving Las Vegas, a true drunk drinks till he’s dead
April 13th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
shakes the clown???
April 14th, 2007 at 9:58 am
What about Dudley Moore as Arthur Bach in Arthur? He was the best, funniest drunk EVER!!!!!
April 14th, 2007 at 10:01 am
here’s some good ones you left out…
Arthur
Lee marvin in Cat Ballou (there’s some funny shit in that movie) THIS IS THE #1 MOVIE DRUNK
Peter O’ Toole in My favorite Year
Gene Wilder in Blazing Saddles
Billy Bob Thonton
April 14th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
I know you guys see proxy sites on here all the time, but this one has one main advantage - the ability to watch youtube videos. It also serves as another option to surf any other site that may be blocked by your school, work, or even country. I was totally surprised when I checked it out. Figured I’d at least pass it on.
http://www.myspaceisblocked.com
April 14th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
That’s nothing. How about a real life person that can drink all those people (probably combined) under the table? There was only one person that needed 2 liters of vodka just to get the “warm & fuzzy” feeling, and that was Andre the Giant!
April 14th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Here’s the link:
http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/10_06/10_06_andre_giant.html
April 14th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
1) Charles Bukowski
I forget what 8 was for
2) Winston Chuchill
3) Ernest Hemingway
4) Mr. Lahey (TPB owns)
5) Shakes The Clown (the Citzen Kane of alcoholic clown movies)
6) Peter O’Toole (not in any particular movie, in his real life)
7) Homer Simpson
9) my fiend Dave. you don’t know him.
10) FDR (he ended prohibition)
April 14th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
awww hell, you get my vote for most awesome for saying “I forget what 8 was for”
April 14th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Withnail & I is an excellent film!
April 14th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
I heard George Bush was quite the Drunk.
April 14th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
none
April 14th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Bernard Black from Black books is my fav alcoholic.. He’s drunk throughout the whole series so he deserves a mention.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFHyevlB9AU
April 14th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Don’t forget Terry and Deaner from Fubar
April 15th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
man. some of you leaving comments need to have a beer and chill the eff out.
Cheers mate nice post.
April 15th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
Frank the Tank from Old School!!!?!?!?!??!!?
April 15th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
How can you have a list of the top 10 alcoholics and not include William Powell, a true pioneer of the on-screen alcoholic, in the “Thin Man” movie series? The first movie dates back to the Depression and the end of prohibition.
April 16th, 2007 at 12:06 am
Jim Lahey from Trailerpark Boys
April 16th, 2007 at 1:57 am
You never saw “Barfly” with Micky Roarke. This is a Charles Bukowski classic. Micky Roarke and Faye Dunnaway are brilliant.
April 17th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
How about Will Munny in Unforgiven? I love the selections here, but I’d get drunk with that dude…
April 22nd, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Hey What about Dudley More in ‘Arthur’ … way better than Pauley Shore
June 8th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
yo tht’s not wong fei hung, granted jet li did do the drunken fist in one of the fei hung movies. thts jackie chan from drunken master
July 28th, 2007 at 2:47 am
oliver reed.snotted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZMXIxIQmPw
September 19th, 2007 at 9:42 am
[…] since I left Arthur off the post about awesome alcholics have I had such a public outcry of injustice as I did for not putting this on the Cartoon Parody […]
March 10th, 2008 at 12:46 am
[…] I would say that’s a toss up between 10 Greatest Potheads and 10 Awesome Alcoholics. […]
January 27th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
[…] 10 Awesome Alcoholics - A nice list, but I guess its all fictional characters since your mom isnR… […]
November 27th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
??? ???????? ????, ?? ??? ??????? ??? ?? ???????????? ????? ???????? ?????? ????? ?????-?? ?????.