12 of the Sexiest Female Athletes

Monday, October 8th, 2007

I’ve never been much of a sports guy. All I watch is football, and I never really cared much for it until my son started playing.

So when a co-worker asked me if I had ever heard of Allison Stokke, naturally I had not and naturally we Googled her right then and there to remedy that situation. I started wondering what else I had been missing. Of course I scoured the internet for days in search of the hottest female atheletes, and by “searched for days” I mean the first twelve I found that I thought were super-hot. After all that intense research I have what I feel to be

12 of the Sexiest Female Atheletes from Various Sports (and that’s only unil the inevitable part 2…)

(In no particular order. Couple may be NSFW-ish)

1. Pole Vault
Allison Stokke

It is taking every ounce of willpower I have not to insert a “huge pole” comment here.

2. Golf
Michelle Wie

There’s this rumor that there is a Brazilian woman who jogs around my neighborhood in a thong. I told my wife if she wants me to happily exercise all she had to do is find out this woman’s routine and I will jog right behind her like a dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit’s nose. That being said, I would happily be Michelle Wie’s caddy. I know jack-shit about golf, but I can carry some clubs.

3. Racing
Danica Patrick

Considering my daughter (whose name is Danica), Danica McKellar (Winnie from the Wonder Years) and Danica Patrick are the only three people I know in existence who have that name, I can honestly say I have never heard of a Danica I didn’t like.

4. Tennis
Anna Kournikova

The best thing about women’s tennis, by far, are those little skirts.

5. Ice Skating
Jamie Sale

I once read that one of the most popular cosmetic surgeries amongst women was having permanent hard-nipples..um, installed(?). I bet ice skaters think that is just plain silly.

6. Softball
Jennie Finch

I had a fling with a softball player in college. Everyone made fun of me because the softball girls at my college had a reputation for being rather “manly”. The one I hooked up with wasn’t though. I swear.

7. Swimming
Amanda Beard

She’s all wet.

8. Ping Pong
Biba Golic

I have a ping pong table in my garage and I hereby challenge Biba Golic to a game of Strip Ping Pong. I actually don’t have a ping pong table, but I have two saw horses and piece of plywood, and that’s my advantage, baby…she won’t be able to hang with “Street Pong.”

9. Volleyball
Gabrielle Reese

The following video is not of Gabrielle Reese, but I can’t imagine anyone complaining.

10. Billiards
Jeannette Lee

There’s something about the way she racks those balls.

11. Water Polo
Jackie Frank

For some reason I couldn’t seem to find a video of female water polo, much less of Jackie Frank. So instead, just check out this hottie frolicking in the water.

12. High Jump
Amy Acuff

She was in the Olympics and Playboy. It’s all downhill from there.

BONUS ATHLETE: Marathon
My Wife!

Oh yeah, motherfucker!